Child with red hair hides under white blanket with one eye peeking out.

Tips for Managing Sunday Scaries with kids

We’ve all been there, you enjoy a lovely weekend as a family, and then that dreaded sinking feeling rolls in on Sunday as you mentally prepare for the week ahead. This feeling has been affectionately termed “Sunday Scaries.” Monday mornings can feel super stressful for parents, especially with young kids and all that goes into getting them ready for the day. In addition, kids may have their own anxieties about Mondays resulting from school dread or being separated from you during the weekdays, so make sure to address their worries as well. Here are some tips to hopefully ease some of that stress and make the week go a little smoother for everyone!

Create a weekly ritual.

A straightforward strategy to help with the mindset surrounding Sunday scaries and the potential stress about the week ahead is to create some small rituals to mark the end of the week and the start of the next. These can be easy and fun, but consistency provides a sense of stability and things to look forward to. Some examples are Friday night pizza and a movie, Sunday pancake breakfast, Sunday afternoon walk, etc. Little rituals and routines are a fun way to incorporate more family time and connection and give structure to what can feel like entirely chaotic weeks with kids, school, activities, work schedules, etc. Don’t forget the importance of getting a good night sleep especially at the start of the week. Try not to let sleep schedules veer too far off during the weekend and make it a routing for sunday evenings to be a time to relax, get organized and get to bed early! Read more tips to promote better sleep here.

Talk about the day and week ahead.

I’m a big fan of mental rehearsals for myself and young kids, especially around things that can cause stress or worry. Thinking and talking about what to expect eases uncertainty and helps you and the kids feel prepared. When to do this depends on what works best for your family. I find the dinner table and bedtime to be natural times to talk about what is coming up. Kids always seem to have a lot to say at bedtime as they process and unwind from the day. As much as we may want to rush through to get to our alone time, it is an excellent opportunity to have their captive attention. Talk out loud about what the next day will look like regarding anything different about their morning routine (ie, pack something for show and tell, etc.), who is doing drop off and pick up, what after-school activities are planned, etc. Sunday nights, you may also want to do an overview of what the week holds as far as any out-of-the-ordinary things like doctor’s appointments, dinner plans, birthday parties, etc. Not only will it help everyone be on the same page, but it will provide an opportunity to manage any logistical challenges that may have been overlooked or address any worries or questions the kids may have about the agenda.

Keep the door open for kids to talk about their worries.

Kids get Sunday scaries too, which can center around school dread or peer problems. Always ask kids how things are going and if anything worries them about school. If you start to see school fear occurring repeatedly, make sure to ask about bullying and let your child know it is safe to tell you anything. Although a day off here and there when kids have a hard time is not bad, it’s important not to completely give in to school-avoidant behavior, as that can make the anxiety surrounding going back build even more. Instead, validate their feelings, address any bullying issues or learning difficulties with teachers and school administration, and try to keep them in their routine. For more tips on addressing Sunday scaries and school anxiety for kids, check out this article in Psychology today. 

Consider a family calendar.

In certain seasons of life, especially if there are multiple kids with multiple activities, a visual aid of the schedule can help keep everyone organized and on the same page. This can also help somewhat with reducing the mental load of the primary parent since everyone can reference and update the family calendar, and it is not all kept in one person’s head. You can get creative with little pictures on the calendar for young pre-reading kids to let them know what is on the schedule that day, like a soccer ball for practice, a water drop for swim lessons, etc. Encourage them to check the calendar when they ask you about the agenda, and they can even help add things as they come up. You may choose to use a magnetic calendar on the fridge, a large desk calendar, or simply a whiteboard where you write out the big to-dos for the week. Be as detailed or big-picture as you choose. Find a system you like that is not too time-consuming to implement and go with it. 

Get organized and prepare ahead of time.

I will start this with the disclaimer that prepping things for the day or week ahead of time is immensely helpful to combat Sunday scaries, but it may not be possible 100% of the time! This type of organization does not come naturally to me, but I see the benefit and am improving over time. So try to get into a prepping routine and do it when you can, but it is not all or nothing. Even taking some stuff off the list for the morning rush will be helpful. 

  • Meals
    • One challenge about adulting and parenting that I feel you don’t hear enough about until you’re in it is having to think of what you and the family should eat every meal, every day! It’s exhausting! At a minimum, prepping school lunches and breakfast the day before can make things much less hectic. If you are someone who can plan out every meal for the whole week, even better! However, just coming up with a simple system for lunches where you have all of the components (fruit, protein, sandwich stuff, snack, etc.) in the same easy-to-grab places to make assembling them easier goes a long way. A rotation of quick nutritious breakfasts also simplifies things. I love to make big batches of healthy pancakes on the weekend and freeze them to use for breakfast during the week. Pop them in the toaster, and you have an easy yummy breakfast. 
  • Backpacks
    • Try to pack younger kids’ bags the night before. If you live somewhere like we do with seasons, make sure you have all the necessary layers and gear they may need ready to go. We’ve all had those mornings where you realize the kids’ snow pants and mittens are soaked from the day before, and now you are scrambling to find backups. Older kids can take this task on as one of their responsibilities, with perhaps a post-check by you for quality control.
  • Clothes
    • Picking out clothes the night before is also a biggy as far as reducing the amount of time and energy needed to get kids ready in the morning. Letting toddlers and young kids help choose outfits gives them a sense of empowerment. Some children may prefer to pick out and dress themselves in the morning, and that is great! I love letting kids express themselves through their clothing choices as long as they can easily play in them and are school and weather appropriate. My five-year-old loves this little taste of independence. I just make sure that her drawers are organized so she knows where each category of clothing item is. It is not neat by any means, but she can find what she wants independently. 

Give yourself more time than you think you need.

Without fail, the days you need to be on time will be the ones the universe throws a wrench in the morning. Mondays tend to be worse since everyone has had a couple of days to be out of the routine. Unfortunately, you can’t always predict when a big spill will happen, requiring a last-minute outfit change, or your preschooler will have a lengthy tantrum about having to wear their snowboots on a winter day or some other injustice. The best you can do is give yourself a buffer and allow extra time. Worst case, you’ll have more time than you need and maybe even have time to finish that coffee you made before it is cold. On other days it may be just the extra few minutes you need to do damage control and still make it to drop off on time. 

Keep things in perspective.

I don’t know about you, but one lesson I continue to learn in parenting is the value of loosening up control and letting go of the pursuit of perfection. Some days, you’ll be the parent who brings your kid to school late with their hair uncombed. Some days you’ll forget their mittens, and they’ll need to borrow from the school stash. The truth is you are human. These small things do not make you any less awesome of a parent and are just not a big deal in the long run. I find this mindset shift very helpful when I’m starting to stress about being late, which can manifest as me being more irritable and snappy with the kids. I try to remind myself we’re all doing our best and that being a few minutes late does not mean the world will end. This helps bring me back to a calm state and have a bit more patience. 

Progress over Perfection.

This is another lesson I’m continuously learning, and I feel like every parent needs this reminder. You are doing a great job! Working toward things that will make life easier and only getting some of it right is still valuable and still progress. I do not use all of these techniques all of the time. The idea is to choose what strategies work for your family and make things easier, not more work. So much of the Sunday scaries feeling can come down to the pressure we feel for the week to go smoothly and get everything done. Using these tools will help, but some days will just be messy, and that’s ok! Everyone will make it through regardless, and you may even laugh about it later! Try to do your best, don’t beat yourself up, and you’ll get a chance to try to do better the next day. 

 

Read more about how to start the school year off with some good strategies in place here. Let us know what strategies you try and which are the most helpful! Do you have any useful tricks we forgot?

 

 

Group of children walking to school.

Back-to-School: Tips for Parents

Summer break is winding down, and back-to-school is fast approaching. Transitioning from summer to the start of the school year can be tricky for everyone. Read on for a few tips and ideas to help make that back-to-school adjustment easier for the whole family! 

 

Get back on a school year schedule

Ideally, we can maintain a flexible schedule during the summer months. Naturally, though, things will have gotten a bit laxer or, in some cases, totally out of whack! Instead of waiting until school starts to get back on a consistent schedule, it’s best to ease in over the days to weeks before. If the kids have gotten used to staying up, you may have better success gradually moving up bedtimes by half an hour a day over a few days rather than shifting back all at once. And if sleeping late has become the norm, gradually moving up wake-up times simultaneously can help facilitate those earlier bedtimes. Dust off those bedtime routines and morning routines. Aim to give the kids a few days of being close to a school schedule before the first day!

 

Talk about feelings and what to expect

Back-to-school season can bring up many feelings, including worry, apprehension, and excitement about the new year.

  • Normalize feelings: Check-in with the kids about how they’re feeling. Reflect and share how you felt in the past when you had first days! Normalizing feeling nervous can help kids feel less alone.
  • Talk about what will happen: With younger kids, it can be helpful to talk through what will happen on the first day of school as a sort of mental dress rehearsal. With all the changes surrounding COVID 19 precautions it is also helpful if you’re up to speed on the current protocols so you can go over them with your child.
  • New year, new start! If the previous school year had some tricky social or academic challenges, take the opportunity to discuss and address associated worries or questions. Then, make a plan together to help avoid the same struggles. Emphasize that a new year is a fresh start and set a positive tone!

No matter what, make sure kids know it is normal to feel lots of different things and ok to be nervous! Remind them that new things are always a little scary, but things will become familiar and more comfortable in no time!

 

Review school year routines, safety and rules

Day to day routines and rules will likely change when school starts.

  • Review school day ground rules: Some family rules may apply specifically to the school year, like screen time limits, when friends can come over, designated homework time, bedtimes, etc. Routines around bedtime and mornings getting out of the house will likely change when school starts too. Be sure to review expectations and set clear boundaries ahead of time, so everyone is on the same page! Some families find it helpful to write down core household rules and routines as a reminder and put them somewhere everyone can see.
  • Go over logistics and safety around how kiddos are getting to and from school. Whether they will be taking the school bus, joining a car pool or walking to school, it is important to talk about the plan so kids know what to do and how to stay safe. It is a good time to review general safety topics as well. Make sure kids know the designated people that may pick them up from school or from the bus stop and emphasize not talking to or going with strangers. One idea is to have a special safety code word that the kids know not to share and only designated grownups that are allowed to pick them up will use.

 

Start fresh and do a clean-out before back-to-school shopping

A lot of emphasis gets put on back-to-school shopping every year, but it is just as important to take that time to clean out unneeded items and start fresh!

  • Out with the old! Get kids involved with pulling out clothes that don’t fit or don’t wear for the donation pile. It’s a good time to do a toy clean out too. Kids’ interests change quickly, so try to periodically go through toys and donate what they don’t use. This can help keep toy storage more manageable and help facilitate valuable lessons in gratitude and giving.
  • Don’t feel pressured to buy too much! If you need to hear this, you do not have to buy the kids a new wardrobe at the start of every school year! Buying a ton of clothes, they may grow out of before they can wear them feels wasteful. Plus, many of their summer clothes may transition well to fall with layers. That said, growth spurts happen, and some kids are harder on clothes, so you may need to replace more of their wardrobe after all. Try to focus on the specific things they need, a few versatile pieces and layers they can wear in different weather, and maybe something just for fun in the mix. Secondhand is an excellent option for kids’ clothes if you want to limit spending or use a more eco-minded approach. Since kids often do outgrow things before wearing them, many secondhand items can be as good as new!

 

Get organized

In addition to getting rid of old or unused items, help your child start the year off right by helping them organize their spaces.

  • Have kids help set up their work space and organize supplies: It helps bring a sense of control and calm when a space is free from clutter, and things are easy to find. For example, help set up an inviting school work area, get the kids involved in the process, and get their input on how they want it to look and where things should go. Also, help to organize their backpacks and school supplies.
  • Get yourself and the family organized too! If you’re given a school year calendar, add important dates to your personal or family calendar right away. A family calendar placed somewhere visible with necessary logistics like who is doing school pick-up, extracurriculars, and important events can help keep everyone on the same page. Don’t forget about any paperwork due at the start of school. If kids are due for annual health check-ups, dental visits, or need vaccines, get those scheduled asap. 

 

Reach out to teachers

  • Establish a collaborative relationship with teachers: When fall rolls around, it’s nice to finally put a face to the names who will spend so much time teaching and guiding your children during the year. So often, due to frustrations that arise when raising small humans, parents and teachers find themselves pitted against each other when they actually share the same goals. Teachers work incredibly hard under less than ideal conditions to help educate our children, and we owe them respect and kindness! If you get the chance, try to introduce yourself and your child ahead of time. This helps set a collaborative tone and may ease some nerves for your kiddo.
  • Discuss concerns or unique needs your child has ahead of time: It is especially important to communicate early and often if your child has behavioral challenges, unique traits, or special learning needs you feel teachers should know. Being upfront about your concerns or potential challenges helps set expectations. It also may provide an opportunity to troubleshoot and collaborate before challenging situations arise. If you think your child may need special accommodations it is best to start discussions early so there is plenty of time to organize any supports or resources that are needed.

 

For more info on educational resource programs go here.

 

Catch up on rest and family time

Summer break can be a mix of long stretches of downtime and jam-packed activities. Consider not scheduling much the week before going back to school so kids can relax, catch up on rest and get organized for the year. Instead, take the opportunity to set aside some extra family time together before school starts, and everyone gets busy.

 

Start a back-to-school tradition

  • Start an annual end of summer ritual! Kids thrive with routines and traditions, and who doesn’t love an excuse for a sweet little celebration? We love the idea of a back-to-school ritual that helps mark the transition in kids’ minds and is something to look forward to. This practice doesn’t have to be anything elaborate! It can be as simple as a special dinner the night before school starts or having one last outing as a family to a favorite summer spot. It’s also a great time to discuss the upcoming school year and set goals or hopes for the year. As part of the tradition, you can even have them write the goals down so they can look back and see whether they made progress in achieving them. These hopes don’t have to be strictly academic aspirations. Goals can be about new skills or social development, like making one new friend, learning to tie shoes, etc.

 

Transitions and first days will always come with challenges. Still, with a little help, your child can start school knowing all of their feelings are valid and give them the confidence that they have all the tools they need to have a great school year! 

 

Here are some more helpful resources for back-to-school tips to get you and your kiddos off to a great start!

 

American Academy of Pediatrics – Back to School Tips

 

American Psychology Association – Back to School Blues

Kids jumping into a pool on a summer day.

Ten tips for planning your family’s summer with less stress!

Summer is a time for family fun, rest, and relaxation, right? Realistically though, more likely for most of us, school gets out; kids are suddenly home hungry and bored, and you are appointed the summer activities director in addition to your other jobs and responsibilities. Sometimes we find ourselves overwhelmed by summer planning and also feeling guilty for not “making the most of it.” Read on for tips on how to plan the summer as a family.

1. Let go of all of those unattainable expectations!

There is no such thing as the “perfect” summer! As if being a parent these days wasn’t stressful enough, the pressure we are under to make every aspect of our kids’ childhood perfect and memorable can be overwhelming! We’re bombarded with insta-worthy summer vacay pics, absurdly time-consuming activity ideas, and constant reminders that you only get 18 summers with your kids, so don’t mess it up! Here’s the thing, sure, that may be true, but kids don’t need much to have a wonderful and memorable summer. All they need is some time outdoors, time to play, time with friends and family, some time to relax, and that is it! Try not to get sucked into the parent guilt or stuck comparing. There is no right way to plan summer for your family and kids!

Tons of activities? Great! Lots of unstructured free play at home? Awesome! Lots of travel? Fantastic. Staying close to home? Sounds perfect! Spending days with the kids as a family? Sure! Sending them off to camps during the day so you can get work done or enjoy yourself? Do it! The bottom line with most things, especially parenting, is that comparison can be the thief of joy. Decide what works best for you and your family, and then go for it!

2. Stock up on summer supplies!

Make sure you have what you need for spontaneous summer adventures. Stock up on sunscreen, sun hats, bug spray, bike helmets, ensure the kids’ swimsuits fit, etc. If camping is on your list, check that the tent is ready to go and no pieces are missing! Things like this can make or break when the fam gets the sudden inspiration to adventure!

3. Make a summer bucket list with the kids.

This is a fun way to ensure you fit in those things you want to do without letting the summer slip by. Want to go on a family camping trip? Build a tree house? Get a few beach trips in? Make a list together, and if applicable, try to set a date for certain activities since summer has a way of flying by, and you don’t want to miss the chance. Getting the kids involved and enthusiastic about upcoming plans is also great. Ask them if they have any goals for the summer. Maybe there is a new skill they want to learn or a project they’d like to try, and you can help them get started. 

4. Plan out the summer by week.

If planning the whole summer feels daunting, pull out the calendar and plan some activities each week! Whether it’s swim lessons, camps, or family adventures, it can feel more manageable to look at each week instead of the whole summer.

5. Keep a flexible schedule.

Establish some daily routines, but allow for flexibility! You certainly don’t have to keep up the exact same timetable as during the school year. Getting a little laxer with naps, bedtimes, and morning wakeups is normal. However, kids thrive with a certain amount of consistency, so try to have at least a loose schedule. Keep up with the nap and bedtime routine, even if the timing varies. You can also establish new daily rituals for the summer if it works for your fam, like a walk after dinner or a morning park trip. 

6. Don’t fear boredom!

Everyone dreads the “I’m bored” chant all summer. Often we try to plan our family’s summer to avoid it! But the truth is boredom isn’t the enemy. Overplanning kids’ days robs them of the opportunity to direct their play and tap into their creativity. Time to relax and engage in activities of their choosing is a gift. Not only should you not feel bad about not having something planned for them every second of every day, but you’re doing them a favor!

However, they may feel otherwise at times and complain. Instead of immediately coming to their rescue with a plan as activities director, first, try giving them a nudge in the right direction. Say something like, “Being bored can be uncomfortable, but you have excellent ideas! I bet you can come up with something awesome to do! Do you feel like playing outside or inside right now?” 

7. Set aside some quick and easy pastimes for days the kids need more direction.

A stash of emergency at-home activities for rainy days or days without planned family outings can also be a great idea! Even if you do your best to prepare, something can throw you for a loop like canceled plans, rainy days, kids home with a cold, etc. Have a stockpile of easy, fun activities that only come out on days the kids are stuck at home or when the “I’m bored” complaint is on repeat. Kids can get excited about simple things when they’re novel, like coloring books or pages, fresh crayons, puzzles, craft kits, bubbles, water balloons, and playdough.

Also, check out local spots that have fun summer drop-in activities for kids. Your public library is a great place to start! And lastly, one positive aspect of the pandemic is a plethora of online resources with activity ideas for kids, online story times, kids yoga, exciting classes, dance lessons, you name it! There are tons to choose form, but some of our favorites are:

Busy Toddler

The Imagination Tree

Cosmic Kids Yoga

Eventbrite

8. Get kids outside and moving every day!

Extra screen time in the summer is expected and OK. Most of us have fond memories of leisurely summer mornings watching cartoons before heading out to play for the day. Especially if you’re working from home and the kids are around, screen time can be survival, no guilt! But when you can, take advantage of nicer weather and extra daylight and get those kids outside as much as possible! While you’re at it, get yourself out there too!

There are countless benefits to being outdoors, getting sunlight, and daily physical activity. Not only are we all happier and healthier with more exercise and outdoor time, but with any luck, the kiddos will be tired out and much less likely to drive you nuts at bedtime! Plan some regular summer family outdoor time! Active things like swimming, hiking, or biking are excellent, but keeping it simple with free time, playing in the yard, or walking around the block can also be game-changers. Just remember sun protection every day, and don’t forget to reapply!

9. If you’re short on childcare, don’t be afraid to get creative!

As wonderful as summer family time is, you need time to yourself to keep your sanity. And if you are trying to work from home, it is even more crucial. But full-time childcare is not available or accessible to everyone, which can be challenging. As you are planning summer for the family, you may find yourself cobbling things together and wishing you had more help. The good news is, you are probably not the only one in that boat, so consider reaching out to parent-friends. It can be as simple as swapping play date houses with one other family a few days a week or having a small group of parents that takes turns watching each other’s kids. This can be an excellent way for everyone to get a little “time off.”

Consider relatives or neighbors that might enjoy hanging with the kids for a few hours here and there to lighten your load. It’s tough to ask for help, but you’ll be a better, happier parent for it! In a pinch, get kids involved in things you need to do, like errands, yard work, cleaning, or cooking. It may not be as efficient as when you do them yourself, but believe it or not, if you present it the right way, kids can have fun doing almost anything, and the tasks still get done!

10. Lastly, don’t wait for the last minute for those back-to-school “to-dos.”

Back-to-school can sneak up on us, and it can be stressful to ensure everything is ready for the new year. That stress is magnified when it gets down to the wire! As part of your summer planning, consider what your family needs to get done by fall. At the start of the summer, try making a list of the back-to-school to-dos, checkups, school supplies, sports gear, and paperwork, and adding them to your calendar or setting reminders for before the school year. Better yet, check off as many boxes as early as possible!

In our pediatrics office, without fail, the end of summer rolls around, and we are slammed with frantic parents trying to schedule their kids for their last-minute sports physicals or get forms filled out in time for school! We don’t judge; we know how easy it is to forget until the last minute, but do yourself (and your pediatrician’s office) a favor and get those forms and appointments early! 

Now get out and enjoy the summer with your family with less stress; just don’t forget the sunscreen!